I Need To Sing Next.

When you are out at your favorite bar and decide that you need to sing now, remember that you need to wait your turn just like everyone else. 

Any excuse ending in “I have to go home” or  “I have to leave”, will not help as you are not staying to patronize the facility that is paying the host for doing the show! 

Everyone else has their personal issues and group dramas or vice versa and it’s not a contest to see whose story is best, or who can be the most needy or demanding.  Catering to you creates other people that are not happy.  So any time we give in we have to appease numerous other people.  

We contend that no good host will take tips to be moved in the rotation, although we will often accept a tip for the last song of the night.

Just so you know that yours is not the newest excuse, here is a list of the most common excuses we have heard.

Some of these responses are sarcastic and we keep them in our heads… Some of them are really sarcastic.. We probably actually say those!

I can sing that song so much better.  That’s great but nobody really cares

I have to take my pet to the emergency vet clinic.  Then why are you here.  Go take care of your pet!


I'm leaving in 10 minutes.   Why not avoid the delay… Just leave now! 

It's ( INSERT NAME )'s birthday - please let them sing.   IF it truly is bring up an ID and they get an extra turn whenever they want.

I own this place.  Great, so you owe us $200 for tonight.. Bring that up and I’ll get you in next!

The club owner said I could.  Right, they said you could sing, but I doubt they said screw all the other club patrons, you can go whenever you want!

 I need to sing now so I can start drinking.  Go ahead and get that drink ordered and we’ll get you up as soon as we can.

 I have finally had enough to drink and I have to sing before I get too drunk.   Tell you what, have a seat over there, we would not want you to stagger and fall and we’ll bring you the microphone just as soon as it is your turn!

I'm a friend of _________and he/she said I can sing next anytime I want (used a lot when a "sub" host is running the regular KJ's show).  Great Let’s go over and talk to ___________ and see if he minds if I let the other patrons who have been waiting an hour to sing go first?

My girlfriend is awesome - let her sing next.   That’s great, anticipation is key!  Get me her song and I’ll get everyone built up to go crazy when it is her turn…

We're all here together and we want to sing "Love Shack".  We can put it in on whichever of your turns come up next!

I have to go to work in the morning.   Wow, what a coincidence, so do I!  and so do half of the other people who have been waiting for their turn to sing!

My friends dared me and if I don't sing now, I never will.  And that might not be so bad for the rest of us!  If you can wait we’d all love to hear you when it is your turn!

I have to catch a plane.  They are pretty fast, you better get going!

My manager (or a talent agent) is in the audience and wants to hear me sing!  Have him give me a call and we’ll set an appointment for you rather than taking care of this when we are supposed to be taking care of the entire crowd.

I'm drunk and I don't know what I'm doing.  Then you are not using my microphone… Come see me again when you know what you are doing!

I spend a lot of money in this club.  I spend a lot here as well… so do many of these other patrons.  That’s why we are all here and we are all waiting our turn!

I gotta go pick my kids up from the babysitters." (These types are always intoxicated and holding a set of car keys.)   That’s great, give me the number and I’ll call your babysitter.  You order some coffee and drink it and by the time you get up to sing, you might be okay to drive home. 

If I don't sing next, I'm going to the club down the street and taking all of my friends with me.  We’d hate to see you leave, but unfortunately we have to cater to the entire crowd and not just one person or one table.  I can’t get you in next, but let me see what I can do for you.

My relatives are in town visiting and they're leaving to go back home tomorrow.   That’s great so they have no prior engagements for tonight..  We’ll get to you shortly.

I'll give you a tip!  We always take tips for a professionally done job, but not to move singers.  We’ll get to you as quick as we can!

I have to leave for another karaoke show.   I’m sorry to hear that, but do you really think I should place you ahead of our regular customers who are patronizing this bar so that you can leave?

I’m 20 minutes late for work, can I sing next? Just think, if you had left on time for work, we would not even need to have this conversation.

I have to take someone to the emergency room. Better get going!

I signed-up hours ago and you haven't called me up yet. Well. we currently have??(ex. 20) Singers which means everyone is waiting (ex:about 90 minutes), I’m sorry, but when we have a lot of singers we can only go as quickly as the songs finish. 

I signed-up last night and you never called me up to sing.  That might have been good to bring up last night.  Here is my list from last night.. I don’t see yours.  Let me help you fill one out now and I’ll get you up as quickly as I can.

I have to go to church tomorrow. (usually heard on Saturday nights).  If you can hold on for ?? minutes, I’m sure Jesus will help you to wake up in the morning. 

I'm trying to get this girl's/guy's attention and want to impress them with my singing. They will be really impressed if you show some consideration for the other patrons by waiting your turn. 

I have to go home.   Yeah, you are late, the street lights have been on for hours now!

I'm old and can't stay up any later.   I’m sorry to hear that, perhaps you’ll want to get started a little earlier next time.

Nobody will know.  NO!, EVERYONE WILL KNOW!

I need to sing next because my girlfriend is planning on getting pregnant in a little bit and I’d like to be there.   Ok, have her run along and start without you.. We’ll see how quick we can get you in and then she can see how quick…..